Wake Up Your Idea
Sunday, March 23, 2008
  Singapore's Happiest Person & Other Tales Of Fiction
I came across this piece of news on tomorrow.sg regarding the 'search for Singapore happiest person' and thought it was quite interesting. On closer inspection though, I realised that the local media has sunk to a new low. Below is my reply as posted on the Tomorrow.sg entry regarding this distastefully disguised marketing strategy:

You guys do know that this is a marketing gimmick right? Apparently, this 'search' has been initiated by the 'Global Leadership Academy Pte Ltd' (doesn't have a website) which in turn was created by the Phillip Merry Consulting Group - owned by Phillip Merry with a staff size of 4 key persons (probably there should be other clerical staff members).

In reality, all this is just a marketing ploy for an event entitled 'The New Science of Happiness and Well Being' that will be held at the Singapore Expo on April 16 & 17. That's what you will see if you visit the competition's website, simply-happy.com. In fact, the link button to the actual competition takes up about 1% of the whole home page which just advertises the 'conference' and the speakers involved in the event.

It is pretty obvious that the organisers are the least interested in actually 'searching' for the happiest person and, in all probability, will be just choosing the first best candidate they come across in the pool of entries. Although the event was arranged much earlier, at least before January, the 'search' itself is only 2 weeks long from March 16 to 30 - for a nationwide search? Not to mention the 'results' will be out within a week (April 4th) after the closing date?

Of course, as a marketing idea, it is a success because the (stupid/blind/slow-news-day) mainstream media have picked up on it and made it sound like a national campaign. Well, If you're interested in paying between S$988 and $1,388 to sit down and listen to speakers who are probably going to tell you, "you're spending too much money, that's why you're unhappy and stressed", I have nothing against that.

But for those who think this is a great (independent/genuine) campaign and the 'winner' will be really 'the happiest person in Singapore', then please think again, because this is just another lucky draw...

I have nothing against a bit of enterprise and even concede that it may be a necessary evil, but I think in this case, the public is being misled.

This Is Real Happiness, By The Way

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Monday, March 17, 2008
  Further Description Of Mas Selamat
After almost 3 weeks of the Mas Selamat image being burned onto our retinas, we have been alerted to a vital piece of information - he has a mole under his right eye. Yes, that tiny speck will certainly identify the fugitive clearly in the midst of a crowd; in the midst of the jungle; and definitely will be extremely obvious whilst he is on the move. Also, how enhanced our understanding has become from 'the mother of all instances in stating the obvious' - he has small lips. Really, you think?

In any case, for the benefit of all Singaporeans, let me release some of my own 'critical' information regarding the alleged JI leader - his left eye is lower than his right (take note he has only 2 eyes), there is one strand of hair growing too long on his right ear (take note he has only 2 ears located on either side of the head), and finally, he has one nose with 2 nostrils - I repeat TWO nostrils only.

Phew! I think with this added information, the person who is, most likely, putting up Mas Selamat under the mistaken notion that he's a vagrant will be able to identify him as THE fugitive easily. Furthermore, all these pointers that we would have failed to notice over the 3 weeks of over-exposure, would simply blow Mas Selamat's cover wide open.

Now, I wonder whether I qualify for a share of the reward for releasing this absolutely vital description...

How To Identify Mas 'The Limp that-isn't-necessarily-there' Selamat


Thursday, March 13, 2008
  What The Hell Is Wong Kan Seng Doing In Laos?
First PM Lee was nowhere to be found. Then MM was noted to be in the Middle East. Now, we have dear Wong KS in Laos happily signing a MOU with the Laotian DPM? Wow. In any other country, the top official of the ministry that created such a faux pa as the 'Mas Selamat Limp-Away' will be sweating in the midst of the public outcry. But no, not in this 'first world' corporation, I mean country.

Here, we simply let the whole Police Force and possibly half the army run around the jungles chasing Mas Selamat's shadow whilst the personification of responsibility - Mr Wong, Minister for Home Affairs, has a time-out to celebrate Tiger Beer's foray into the Laotian market of drunkards. I remember that there were some initial (and very naive) suggestions of the minister stepping down in light of the embarrassing incident - clearly the person or persons must have been mistaken that this was a democracy.

I am sure that the good minister would have kept his eye out for Mas Selamat whilst in Laos - although there is no way the limping fugitive would have left Singapore, just like there is no way a fugitive can survive in the wild for 2 weeks without any help; just like a fugitive cannot outwit such a massive manhunt for 2 weeks continuously; and just like ministers cannot be paid exorbitant sums as salaries and get away with it.

Well, it's just one of those things that can only happen in
Singapore... now let's Give That Man A Tiger!

"Tolong Lah Brudder!"

Friday, March 07, 2008
  Excuse Me, Are You Mas Selamat?
Mas Selamat is fast dropping from our consciousness akin to the US Dollar in recent weeks - evidenced by reports of our 'true idol' in ST dropping to Page 13 on this 9th day since he allegedly escaped. Obviously, there is going to be a lot of nice quality paper to line our cabinet drawers with - the Mas Selamat 'look-out' posters I mean.

And if you haven't deleted THAT MMS from your phone yet, I applaud your intrinsic need to hang on to the propaganda like a hungry medicinal leech, but the irony is that as more days pass, the less likely Mas Selamat will actually l
ook like he does in those photo(s).

In any case, let me offer my bit in The Great Singapore Treasure Hunt 2008 (his name does translate into 'Good Gold' right). Following are examples in which you should ask the question 'Excuse Me, Are You Mas Selamat?' - no disrespect to Bonnie Hicks here, but the original 'Excuse Me, Are You A Model?' was definitely THE catch phrase of the 90's....

In the pursuit of independent thinking, I offer you an alternative perspective...


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